I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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