My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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