he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
