anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What a dumb baby whore.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
