So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize