But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
