I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
