Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
