She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
