The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
