just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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