Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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