M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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