well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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