Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
