perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
