and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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