sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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