youre lurking in front of me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
