We're facebook friends in real life
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
