dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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