when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
