lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
