We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
