you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
a search helicopter?!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
