New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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