Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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