There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize