You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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