Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
