dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize