Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
