It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
