When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
