you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
