You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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