so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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