i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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