So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
