i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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