dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
