Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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