508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
