this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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