Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
