Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
