Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
