i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
