I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
