Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
