Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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