Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
