glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
