Got a toothbrush?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize