i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
