Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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