where am i from again
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize