just tell him i said nine months
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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