I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize