So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
