you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
