I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
