I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
