She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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