Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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