Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
