just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
