it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
