I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
