If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the day after is always just damage control
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize